


Pissing Contest

by faemouse



Category: MASH (TV)
Genre: DADT, Dom/sub, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-04-15
Updated: 2010-04-15
Packaged: 2017-10-08 23:14:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 395
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/80496
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/faemouse/pseuds/faemouse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This isn't like any of the other contests they've gotten into.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pissing Contest

It's like any of the other asinine competitions they've gotten into at the 4077th, this thing that they have going on between them. They don't know how it happened or who started it, but it's just like the time Charles received that damn French horn and wouldn't stop playing for days. Only this time, instead of trying to see who can make the most god-awful noise in Korea, it's a contest to see who can be the most silent. Who can make the other scream first? Who has the willpower to keep the legs of the cot from pounding rhythmically into the ground?

It's like the time Charles refused to speak because he got passed over for the position of Head Ass-Kisser at Who Cares Hospital in You're Never Going Home, Anyway. This time, though, the rolls are reversed, and it's Hawkeye who's trying desperately not to say anything – not to let anything slip. It's Charles who's trying to get him to talk. He plays a dangerous game, throwing innuendos-that-aren't-quite-innuendos across the operating table, confusing everyone else while Hawkeye comes back with a witty retort to cover up his unease.

It's like the time they were purposely mixing truth and tale, to see who could get away with more bullshit…only Charles wasn't bullshitting, not even a little bit. And now, it's all about who can walk without limping the next day, because they're both sore but they won't show it. It's all about who can look people in the eye and pretend as best they can that they weren't bent over the bar counter last night with their legs spread like a call girl from Tokyo. Once again, Charles has the advantage because he doesn't have to lie. He wasn't bent over a bar counter; he was bent over Hawkeye…and was that a wince he saw when the doctor sat down?

It's just like when all the officers tried to play Charles for an idiot in poker, and ended up getting played themselves. But this time, it's just between Charles and Hawkeye, and the stakes are much higher than a stack of red script. This is about seeing who will crack first, who will slip up, who won't muffle that moan in time. This isn't anything like the other contests they've gotten into, because this time, no one can win…not without loosing.

**Author's Note:**

> First posted over at mash_slash on livejournal under the penname Diseased_mango


End file.
